Before the FedEx Cup was awarded for the first time in 2007, PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem said that its trophy had "never been kissed." (I don't think he was trying to make a funny about the Drew Barrymore film.)
A year later, Vijay Singh won the FedEx Cup by simply finishing the Tour Championship. He didn't kiss it either, though he's not the most cuddly character.
Searching the Web, the only FedEx Cup winner I saw photographed kissing the trophy is Jim Furyk.
Let's face it: The FedEx Cup is kind of a dud of a trophy. Winning a season-long prize should come with a trophy that can be worn around, telling the world that you were the best-ish on the PGA Tour for a season.
The European Tour did something a little silly for Lee Westwood, the first Race to Dubai champion. He was given a patch to wear on his shirt for the next season in 2010. No. A guy wins a multimillion-dollar prize pool and he gets a sew-on patch? Absolutely not.
The FedEx Cup winner deserves better.
What about a title belt? The Open Championship offered a championship belt to the winner until 1870, when Young Tom Morris won the title for the third consecutive year and the belt was retired. Like a prize fighter, cagefighter or even a pro wrestler, the FedEx Cup champion could emerge on the first (or 10th) tee with their belt on. As the starter announces their turn, the player can dramatically remove the belt and hold it up in the air for the crowd to see as they cheer raucously.
At the very least, the FedEx Cup winner should get a really nice, manly sash. It's better than a shirt patch. Trust me.
THAT WAS FUN, RIGHT?!
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