You are all witnesses.
Hello, friends. If you haven't already recognized the aura of my blogging prose by now, my name is Adam Fonseca, host of the Golf Unfiltered Podcast, former member of the Golf Writers Association of America, former backyard wrestling Intercontinental Champion and all-around golf blogging extraordinaire. You’ve probably read my work on popular internet outlets like Yahoo Sports, the Back9Network, SB Nation and 4Chan.
You’ve read my tweets (@GolfUnfiltered), you’ve bumped into me at PGA Tour events, and you’ve held my hair back in townie karaoke bars. But now I'm ready to spew the most putrid, vile, tasteless hot gives in the golf industry.
That's right: These are bigger than takes, they're gives. They're my gift to you.
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Here at GNN dot net, I’ll bring you the latest pro golf news and deepest, darkest secrets that I know – I only know – the golf industry doesn’t want you to know. You’ll finally be introduced to the full breadth of my golf blogging and interwebs expertise developed over a long and tumultuous 10 years. And, if you’re lucky, you may even learn something about yourself along the way.
I know you have options on where you keep up with golfing. They can have their fancy “facts,” “statistically significant data” and “named sources,” but why let those things get in the way of a good story? If you're feeling Dr. Ben Carson as your next Secretary of Education, you’ve just stumbled upon your new favorite writer.
No, I might not have a bunch of fancy credentials after my name like "PGA Tour Media," "D.D.S.", "Wall-E," or "O.P.P." I’ve only been in a small number of media tents in my career. Hell, I can’t even spell Oosthewzeen Ousthoozen Louie O’s name without Googling it.
But I did use a urinal next to Adam Scott once at Cog Hill, and they don’t just let anyone stand that close to greatness.
And yes, since you're wondering, he thanked me for the opportunity.
Hey, this was satire, in case you hadn't noticed.