Ernesto the Prediction Iguana obviously heard the calls for his benching, because he rattled off his second straight 5-1 week, 2-1 in teasers. That brings the season totals to 20-10 overall, 7-8 in teasers.
Ernesto heads down to the Dominican Republic this month; he takes every November off to go to Casa de Campo and the Lollapalizard Music Festival. I hear Dinosaur, Jr. is headlining.
The cats take over prognostication duties in his stead, and they have some big shoes to fill. First, Ernesto is the undisputed king of Animal Kingdom Prognostication, batting a solid 62.5 percent or better for six consecutive years. Second, last year Barstow the Prediction Cat set a record for November substitution duties, going 16-3-1. So the cats better be up to snuff.
First up is Faith, and her name is appropriate. As a helpless kitten left stranded in the Virginia woods, this cat leaped out in front of a huge pitbull and mewed for help. The pitbull happened to be owned by a gorgeous glamour model, who was so floored by this little kitty’s courage to stand out in front of a human and a massive muscle-bound dog, she took her home and named her Faith despite being allergic to cats.
That’s the definition of selfless, right there. Kudos to the supermode…
She nursed the kitty back to health and then found her a good home with our old best girl, Britt, who has her still to this day, along with another dog.
Anyway, here’s Faith’s picks for the week. As always, we do 2-team teasers so you can move the line six points in either direction. All odds are from Vegas Insider, HOME TEAM IN CAPS.
Cowboys (+8.5) at STEELERS
REDSKINS-Vikings OVER 36
There’s the soft underbelly of the card, right there. The Cowboys are an elite team his year with an unflappable rookie quarterback and nothing to lose. The cracks in the Steelers defense are proving fatal to their playoff hopes. Meanwhile Washington’s defense also continues to be suspect, and 36 is the lowest total we’ve played this year.
STEELERS-Cowboys under 56
GIANTS-Bengals OVER 41
What was that we just said about the Steelers defense? They’re bad, but they aren’t five touchdowns bad, are they? At home? Bueller? Bueller? Meanwhile, don’t look now, but the Giants finally woke up.
Dolphins (+9.5) at CHARGERS
PATRIOTS (-1) vs. Seahawks
Faith has the right idea: ride the Patriots until they give you a reason. The Dolphins can be unpredictable, but 9.5 is a lot of points for the mistake-prone Chargers to spot the Fish…err…mammals.