See that picture below? That’s what the Buccaneers and the Raiders did to Ernesto’s house this weekend. When’s the last time those two sad sacks beat playoff-caliber teams in the same week?
At a paltry 3-3, that’s Ernesto’s worst week in four years! It drops the season totals to a mezza-mezza 22-9. He’s benched for the next three weeks in favor of the cats! Let’s see how they do instead.
This is Barstow. He’s owned by Ian Clarke, the famous computer scientist, and he’s just as smart as his owner. He can break cages and tell time...by reading the clock. That’s him at 2:58…waiting for the last feed of the day at 3 p.m. sharp. The other cats are a lot smaller than him...and thinner.
UNDER ARMOUR!
CHARGERS-Bears UNDER 59
These teams have offenses? San Diego might if a receiver could hold on to the ball...
PATRIOTS-Washington UNDER 59
Of all the teams to beat the unstoppable-looking Patriots -- in Foxboro no less -- it can’t be Kirk Cousins and Washington, could it? Not after the Pats put on a clinic in exposing what was supposed to be an improved Dolphins team?
AMBER ALERT!
Eagles (+6) at COWBOYS
The Eagles may not be the high-flying act everyone thought they’d be, but they are solidifying on both sides of the ball. Dallas still stumbles along without Tony Romo. Look for the Eagles to win the turnover battle.
PATRIOTS (-7) vs. Washington
(See above.)
RED WARNING!
49ERS-Falcons UNDER 50.5
The 49ers collapse is positively shocking. To paraphrase Bull Durham, “2-6? How’d they ever win 2?” Meanwhile the Falcons have been weak recently, needing a later rally to defeat the pitiful Titans, then they got body-slammed by the lowly Bucs, both at home.
STEELERS (Pick 'em) vs. Raiders
The Steelers have trouble with Oakland, they always have. It goes back to the Immaculate Reception. Do you know what they call the Immaculate Reception in Oakland? The “Piece of $–! Reception.” And the players back then used to call John Madden "Pinky" because he'd get all red in the face when he got mad.
